Bones, Blood, Barf & Bugs

A few nights ago, from the backyard I heard that all indicative I’m-having-too-much-fun cackle-laughter-giggle that BW makes when he’s doing something that he KNOWS he shouldn’t be doing.

These days, I close my eyes, sigh deeply, and summon all my strength, and enjoy one last quiet moment before I burst out with “BbbbWWWwwww!” and the associative can of “Whoop-ass” that Charles relies upon when they are out of control. It happens more often than I’d like…

Now that the kids have gotten older and are spending more time outside without overwhelming direct supervision (ie, hover parenting), we have become the ONE thing that Charles has always feared. THOSE neighbors.
The ones who have the kids running wild, like a pack of feral dogs. Bikes, scooters and race carts, chalk and miscellaneous toys lie haphazardly around the driveway, sidewalks, grass and occasionally in the street. Our corner of the world is the one where the concept of inside vs outside voices has no meaning. Yes, my friends, we are the circus of the neighborhood.
Thankfully, our pride has been limited to an offspring of only two, and though the numbers are small, their damage is mighty. I honestly believe that the neighbors, upon hearing their voices come to the windows to see what they’ll do next.
On this particular night, BW managed to find a portable bike pump and the pump needle for the soccer ball. Perched in one of those larger than life resin outdoor toys, he was squealing in delight at having discovered a really fun toy. One we all know as Lawn Darts.
Yes, my friends. Lawn darts. The metal tipped lawn toy that we had so much fun playing with in our own time that they were banned in 1988 because they were found to cause serious or fatal injuries. Considering the contraption he’d put together, the Lawn Darts of our generation were much safer as those metal tips had a large enough circumference that skin had a chance to resist being punctured. Not so with a ball pump needle.
Thankfully I caught him before he’d had a chance to improve his aim enough to actually hit the dog, who was lying in the grass – attempting to get one last nap in before going to bed for the night.
My liver and my nerves are going to need a vacation after the next 10 weeks. August 17th is the first day of school in our corner of the world and I am counting down the days!

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