Granted the last six months have been a personal hell involving a series of one torturous life events after another and a person can handle only so much before they get a bit too close to the edge. Those I hold closest gave me the latitude I needed to work through the stresses, emotional pain and personal comprehension for the “Whys” of it all, and perhaps that is where these feelings arose but they were never conveyed to me.
I rejected the comment when I received it as it left me reeling and filled every fiber of my being with an overwhelming sense of shame, betrayal and hurt. Of course, to a casual observer it appeared as though I let it wash over me like rain on a duck’s back, but deep inside I was shattered. Even now, whenever I hear the word ‘stalker’ or ‘psycho’, even in casual conversations between people as they walk by or as part of a script on a TV show, my ears are attuned to it and the shame and pain are renewed. Self confidence that took years to build was gone. It is only just now beginning to return.
I realized that in NOT publishing the comment, I was giving the individual who chose not to take ownership of their feelings more power than they deserve. In response, I’m not only publishing it, I’m addressing it head on and making it a post.
If, dear reader, you were the individual who made the comment, I would ask that you either leave another on this post, or send me a private email so that I can better understand what it was that caused you to write such angry and hurtful thoughts. I apologize if I wore out my welcome with you, but shame on you for posting those words without warning and without affording me the opportunity to defend myself. Communication is a good thing and many of the worlds problems and misunderstandings would be resolved if it were better practiced.